One of the most challenging, yet most important, part of leadership is navigating difficult conversations. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Here are some tools to help you be clear, concise, and supportive when you find yourself navigating in uncharted waters.
NAVIGATING UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS
Let’s explore the steps that Brendan talks about in this podcast.
1) Define the problem. Is it emotional, communication, professionalism, performance based? When you zero in on this, it also will allow you to put into perspective the other areas that the team member is doing well. By taking the time to zoom out, you often can detach from the situation, and zero in on the behavior that needs to be changed. Take the time to do this.
2) Lead with expressing the weight of the conversation. Is this going to be a casual conversation? Will the feedback sting? Is the team members’ position with the practice at risk? By setting the tone up front, you’re managing their emotional state during the conversation.
3)Address the desired outcome. Are you addressing an issue that you’re going to have them weigh in on? Will you be laying out changes to behavior that you will expect results? What’s the timeline on the changes? How many conversations will this take to find resolution? Be the quarterback of the conversation to clearly state what to expect.
4) Identify the believed origin, frequency, and impact of the problem. Often times, team members are unaware the issue exists; it will be your role to clearly review these details.
5) Check for understanding. What are your thoughts? Do you feel like I understand your perspective? If you realize that your team member is not tracking, you may need to take a few steps back, or even reschedule a follow up to when the team member is in a better state of mind to absorb this information.
6) Set some action steps. Who needs to be involved? Are there follow up conversations that need to be had? Is coaching needed?
7) Set a clear timeline for change. When is it realistic to expect change? Now is the time to clearly define a timeline and set some expectations for follow up on the matter (either with yourself or another team leader).
8) Safety check. Check-in with your team member to ensure they felt the conversation was executed fairly, they felt heard, and safe. If they disagree with any of the above, ask that they follow up with you in a day or two after they’ve had more time to digest the situation.
PRO-TIP
When you have a relationship with your team-members, it allows you to connect the issue as an obstacle to succeeding in their goals for themself professionally. Take the time to connect with your team in ways that allow you to be prepared to do this.
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Now that we have learned about the process, let’s see an uncomfortable conversation role-played out.